Number Two

Every afternoon at naptime, I have a conversation with Jack that goes a little something like this:

“Jack, it’s time to go ni-night now.” We pray together and then I continue, “You need to stay in your bed. Do not get up. And, don’t forget – do not go poopoo in your diaper. You need to put your poopoo in the potty.”
“Treat!” he responds enthusiastically.
“No, no treat until after you put your poopoo in the potty. Do not put your poopoo in your diaper. Okay?”
“‘Kay, Mama.”
“Do you understand me?”
“Yeah!”

I walk out of the room, close the door and carry on with whatever I was doing before I put him down. About 5 minutes later, this happens:

The bedroom door opens and I hear a quiet, “Mama?”
“You’re supposed to be in your bed, Jack!” I point out.
“Poo, Mama,” he squeaks out.

And that’s how it goes. He always poops as soon as I leave him alone. And I’ve tried everything. I’ve sat him on the potty for a really long time before I put him down. I’ve told him he could have a cookie or a small piece of chocolate {although usually, I detest the thought of giving my child sweets, I’m obviously desperate}. And really, I’ve tried anything and everything else I could possibly think up.

No matter what, he poops. In his diaper. During naptime. Every. Single. Day. {Okay, I think maybe he hasn’t pooped during naptime like, twice? But that’s not enough to count.}

And yes, I do realize I’m writing a blog post about my son’s pooping habits right now. I also realize that it’s pretty sad if this is all I have to write about.

Continuing on…

The interesting thing about it is that I find myself in the midst of a huge life lesson each time this happens. When I hear that tiny voice saying, “Poo, Mama,” I have a choice to make. Do I respond in anger? I kind of want to. Do I choose to be patient, walk into the room calmly and help him to clean off? I don’t usually feel very patient. Do I assume that he is purposefully disobeying me or simply cannot figure out how to alert me before he eliminates? I want to blame him, but is that really reasonable?

For some reason or another, Jack insists on having bowel movements in his diaper. He has only ever gone on the toilet twice, although he’s regularly potty-trained when it comes to going number one. I don’t know why he does this. It sort of drives me nuts and I always struggle with choosing to be patient and gentle yet firm and insistent, regardless of the outcome.

But I’m learning something that’s going to affect not only how I respond to this specific issue of pottytraining, but also how I respond to other stressful situations. And I want to be someone who thinks before she speaks. I want to wisely choose my battles. Although Jack does need to learn to use the potty for all of his elimination needs, there has to be a reason this is happening and all I know is that anger doesn’t help anything.

You know what I’m sayin’?

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5 Comments

Filed under Jack, on being a mama

5 responses to “Number Two

  1. crnnoel

    Potty training is sooo hard. It took Fynn pretty much a week, and then he was good to go. However… every now and then we have a week where he “forgets” how to go on the potty. And it’s the must frustrating thing. Responding with love and patience instead of frustration is so hard, but it makes all the difference.

    I know exactly what you’re saying lady. Hang in there. It will happen, and then you will be so thankful you did what you’re doing now 🙂

  2. I’ve noticed that when I’m frustrated with G it does worsen these situations. I’ve also noticed that when our days are off kilter in some way he has several accidents. When I’m grumpy it just throws him off. Now, not saying that he’s pooping in his diaper because of you, just saying that yes, how you respond is CRUCIAL. Think about it, it’s such a new concept.

    Have you ever left him by himself on the potty? Like say, “I’ll be right back. Now you go potty.” It sort of took G a little alone time to really concentrate and not have me breathing down his neck about it. When he wanted me in the bathroom with him I’d sit on the side of the tub and put my hands over my eyes as not to distract him. He went poopy when I did that. It actually became the thing he most wanted for a while. It helped him to know he wasn’t alone but it was sort of like I was “asleep.” That’s what he’d tell me to do. “Can you go to sleep, Mommy?” Then he’d poop. Just try different things like that.

    I KNOW it’s frustrating but this is one area {I’m learning} is SUCH a P-R-O-C-E-S-S…

    Hang in there mama…

  3. Good job being patient! I know some friends who had this issue, and after lots of patience, finally were successful with going in the potty. I think understanding that he just isn’t ready yet, and when he is he’ll do it just fine is key. I am impressed that you can not get angry, because I would… : (
    My only thought was to maybe wait by the door and watch him, not to leave. Maybe you tried that already. I spy on my kiddos sometimes when I know they are about to do something I don’t want them to do. Then I can catch them in the act. If you know he is going to go, and he gets out of bed, maybe to squat? Maybe you can help him to wait and go in the potty. Or at least to identify what he is doing and that he could do it in the potty.
    Another thought is to have him go in a little potty and not the big one.
    Eventually though, whether you do stuff or not, he’ll get it! I don’t think he’ll be 15 and still have this problem. : )

  4. Stephanie

    I’ve had this exact trouble- naptime pooping- with all of my boys. I have no trick, they just eventually grew out of it. My sister-in-law had the same trouble with her youngest son and he was FOUR before he quit!! But what she finally read and tried is to cut a hole in the diaper and let him sit on the potty and do it that way. It sounds weird, but she had tried EVERYTHING and it was all that worked. For me, they eventually just stopped. And, when I saw a child wasn’t using the toilet anymore, just because they didn’t want to or were going thru one of those reverting back stages, I did actually sp*nk. But that is when I was SURE they knew better and were just choosing not to.

  5. Lindsey

    I am right there with you! Eli knows when he has to pee/poo. But refuses to use the potty. We have a seat that goes on the big toilet and we also have a kiddie potty. He won’t go. I ask him and he says, very matter of fact, “No, Mom. I go in my diaper.” While I feel very frustrated, he is ahead of the game in that department with the him knowing the feeling of actually going! So, I am just not going to make a big deal about it and know that he won’t go to pre-school using a diaper. He is the kind of kid that if I make a huge deal about he’ll use is a power tool over me. And I refuse to power struggle with my 2 year old! So, I just keep asking him every day. He does use the potty before bed every night! As both of my children are heavy wetters at night! So, I just think this tiny step is a big deal towards him using the toilet all the time! I would, however, love if he were totally trained. But, all in due time! We’re focusing more on feelings/emotions and expressing them the right way and not yelling and hitting his brother! Oh the joy of 17 month apart boys! EEK!!!!!! YOU are doing a fab job with the potty training girl!!!!

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