Over this past weekend, Ryan and I did not decide to begin rewarding Jack with M&Ms each time he uses the potty. Furthermore, I most definitely have not been stealing those M&Ms straight out of the bag each time I know Jack isn’t looking. I don’t like M&Ms, I am very self-disciplined when it comes to moderating my sugar consumption, and I just don’t approve of sneaking candy from my child’s potty-training stash!
While on the subject of food, we would never dream of ordering pizza for lunch yesterday because we didn’t feel like preparing anything. Why would we do that when we have all the ingredients to make it ourselves in our very own kitchen? That would just be silly!
And just to further prove how on top of things I am, Ryan did not ask me, after taking a shower yesterday, where all the towels were. They weren’t all waiting to be laundered and I didn’t leave him without a way to dry off. No way, not me. You would never find me without a single clean bath towel in my house!
In case you still aren’t convinced of my perfection, you should know that it hasn’t been weeks since I’ve actually put away the clean laundry I’ve managed to get done. There aren’t still piles of clean clothes on my bedroom floor, it’s very easy to find clothes to wear, and I haven’t had to rewash anything because it’s been walked on so much! Never!
I know I’m not alone in this – you’re all perfect too, right?