One day, I’m going to look back on this and I will be so grateful that I took the time to document my life as a wife and mama. I’ll probably be amazed at how elementary it was (because surely we will technology will advance greatly in very little time) yet there will be a sort of charm to it all. I look forward to that day.
Right now, I have to remind myself to take the time to pour out my heart. It’s easy to discount the small victories, the day-to-day happenings and even the struggles. But these are what make up my life! Each diaper changed, each meal prepared, each embrace given, each cushion straightened – they are all different ways of loving and serving my family and I don’t want to forget. My boys may never recall the specifics of these early days, but they’ll know in their hearts that they were loved. My husband may not recall the details of each meal I ever make him, but he’ll know that he was loved (and well-fed!).
I’ve spent the last two days with my Moby wrap on – Forrest has only come out of it to nurse, receive fresh diapers, and for fussy time. I’ve tended to Jack, prepared meals, done laundry, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen, done the dishes, and blogged with Forrest tied to me. I’ve completed tasks that I’d never be able to do if it weren’t for this blessed thing called babywearing. My thighs hurt from squatting. My heart feels just right.
Several times today, Jack’s disobedience has nearly brought me to tears. He’s hard right now. Very hard. I’m trying to remember, as I address each situation, that these difficult times of training will, one day, produce a godly, respectful man. I know it’s worth it. Even though it feels like Jack will be the end of me, I have to keep in mind that God gave Jack to me. He specifically intended for me to mother this little guy, and that means he’ll be faithful to equip me with all the necessary tools. How easily I forget.
I’m adjusting. I’ll probably always be adjusting. But I’m glad – because I don’t ever want to stop learning.