I can’t quite explain how moments like this make me feel. I get this overwhelming sense of real, undeniable love as I live in the moment, and yet I feel him slipping through my fingers simultaneously. Getting older each second – well on his way to adulthood. In my mind, I see him growing. He’s playing with his blocks, then he’s writing his ABCs, then he’s reading chapter books, then he’s learning how to drive, and then…he’s an adult, married, and tending to his own babies. Will I ever be able to see him as an adult – and not my baby? It’s hard to imagine.
Considering I had him when I was only 20, I suppose it’s difficult to imagine myself being anything but a young mother of a very little boy. This is what I do. I have loved every minute with this boy. How is it possible that he’s almost 2? Will the rest of the years fly by like these ones have? Must they?
One of my favorite childhood books was called I’ll Love You Forever. My mom used to read it to me often, and there was a lullaby that the character would sing to her son all throughout his life at his bedside:
I’ll love you forever
I’ll like you for always
As long as I’m living,
My baby you’ll be.
I think I need to buy that book for Jack.