Today, I’m 23 weeks pregnant.
It’s hard to describe how I feel, but the words that come to mind? Light, happy, peaceful, excited, hopeful, and grateful, most definitely.
At the beginning of this pregnancy, I was a little concerned that maybe I wasn’t connecting with the fact that I was truly carrying another baby. With the passing of time, I’ve come to realize that there is no disconnect – just pure, simple peace. I’m overjoyed to be expecting another baby. I can’t believe that I get to do this again! There is nothing like growing and nurturing a little human being, and knowing that I get to be the one to welcome him into the world. I have the amazing opportunity to birth, nurse, and bond with this little boy. I get to watch him grow, and all the while, give Jack a little brother and my husband another son. There’s just no comparison.
I also must admit that being pregnant the second time around is so much easier than the first time! I wouldn’t trade my experience with Jack for anything, but there’s something to be said about the absence of anxiety – anxiety over becoming a mother, giving birth, nursing for the first time, bathing the baby, waking up at all hours of the night, and losing my “freedom,” etc. In place of all that, there is this inexplicable peace and wonder. I may not know exactly how it will all turn out, but the Lord has taught me so much about him throughout my parenting experience thus far. The best part about it? All I have to do is trust him and follow his lead.
This time around, our plan is to birth our baby boy at home. Although we had a wonderful birth experience at my last midwife’s birth center in TX, we soon realized that we wanted all of our subsequent children to be welcomed to the world in the comfort of our own home. There is something so beautiful about the idea of having my baby here in such a comfortable environment. My amazing midwife will only lend to the peaceful atmosphere, I’m sure.
So far, I don’t have many other specifics in place. We know that the birth will take place at home, and we know that we’ll have both a birthing pool and our bed prepared, depending on where I decide to settle. We’re not sure who else will be present at the birth (if anyone at all), and we’re not sure if we’ll keep Jack at home during the whole thing, either. I suppose that those details will be decided upon as my due date approaches. For now, I’m just enjoying this time as a mama of one little boy.
I haven’t really done anything else to prepare for my new boy’s arrival – although I do plan to pull out all of Jack’s old newborn clothes later today!