I must apologize for being MIA for so long now (or so it seems). I can promise you that I have credible reasons! 🙂
Ever since the middle of last week, I’ve been seriously praying, asking God to really change my heart toward my home. I’ve found it so difficult to be content in a location that we know isn’t permanent. It’s also been hard to deal with things like a mushroom growing out of our carpet (no, I’m not kidding!), leaky pipes and a moldy shower that refuses to stay mold-less, no matter how much I clean it. The weather has been so hot, which forces us to stay inside without daily walks (because it’s never cool enough to walk until the sun goes down, but we have coyotes around here and I can’t say I really want to come face-to-face with one of those in the dark again). I’ve felt stir-crazy and tired…but it’s that kind of tired you used to get during summer break back in high school…when you’ve done absolutely nothing all day. Does anyone know what I’m talking about?
Anyway, I started to search myself. I realized several things: I should not be bored. If I’m bored, I’m obviously not taking care of my home like I should. I might sleep better if I get more active, even if all I do is do housework inside. Laying around does not give Jack a good example of healthy activity. And, lastly, the more I neglect my work, the more work I end up doing in the long run. Why make it harder on myself?
I’ve always loved taking care of my home, and I’m familiar with that surge of pride that comes along with a clean house, a nice meal, and a worn-out sigh at the end of a productive day. A while back, I created a weekly/daily to-do list thanks to Brietta and Mom and Us, but for some reason, I abandoned it (probably around the time I got hit with morning sickness). Last week, though, I knew I needed to make some changes. I told the Lord that I wanted to start finding joy in my responsibilities. Not just the end results, but the actual doing. If this (being a wife, mothering, and homemaking) is indeed what I’m called to do (and I believe I am), there’s no reason why I shouldn’t enjoy it! I also asked that he would help me with this because honestly, I want to begin to teach Jack how to enjoy work now. When there’s a toilet to be cleaned, I want to tackle it cheerfully, not reluctantly. I want my son to see that daily tasks done for the sake of the family are an honor.
It was as if the change was immediate! All last week and this week, I’ve found myself following a routine, regularly tending to household chores, and loving it. There were a couple mornings where I really would have preferred to stay in my pajamas till noon, but I’ve stuck to it and every morning, I’m showered by 7:30, I’ve got a load in the wash if it’s laundry day, my dishwasher is emptied, loaded, or running, Jack is dressed, and breakfast gets made. I’ve kept up with the bathrooms, the kitchen, the dusting, and the vacuuming. I no longer scramble to clean at the thought of an unexpected visitor. It’s very freeing!
Now, that’s not to say that somedays, I may need to deviate from the plan a little bit. Today, Ryan told me I wasn’t allowed to do a lot of hard work. 🙂 So, I just made sure the kitchen stayed clean and the laundry was cleaned and put away. I relaxed a little bit more but I still feel productive! I’m grateful that my heart has been changed – now I see where some of the oppressive thoughts were coming from – idleness and boredom!
Other than that, not much has been going on, though I have noticed a few things…
1. My son – wait, let me rephrase that: my almost 16-month-old son – can snap his fingers. Rhythmically. To music, or just on demand. Is that…strange? How did he figure that out??
2. All of my old end-of-first-trimester-beginning-of-second-trimester maternity clothing is huge. I’m talking seriously humongous. I tried on two shirts that I got when I was only 8 weeks pregnant with Jack (I got kind of bloated feeling with him) and they are like tents on me. The necklines hang, the shoulders don’t sit right, and the bodies of the shirts don’t even touch my skin. Wow. I mean, I know I weigh a lot less than I did back then, but geesh. I was not prepared to buy all new maternity clothes. I can still fit all of my regular clothes, obviously, but some of my more fitted Lucky jeans are starting to feel kind of tight. I have a looser pair, but they’re more on the trouser-side of things, and I feel weird wearing them with a t-shirt while I clean or grocery shop. Hmm.
3. I found a midwife! I’m so excited and so relieved! She’s the same midwife that confirmed my pregnancy with Jack back before we moved to Texas. She’s a nice, older Christian lady, which is a relief, because the other midwife we interviewed was very young and new-agey. All the research I did seemed to show that most of the younger midwives around here are very “spiritual,” yet not Christ-centered, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to bring my baby into the world with a midwife like that. I feel much more comfortable knowing we share in our faith. She even prayed for us back when we found out we were pregnant with Jack – right there in her office, the first time she met us! That meant a lot to us and we’re so grateful that she’s available to care for me this time around.
4. It looks like I’m going to get started on my first order of cloth pads! I’m excited about this because it will also allow me to get some feedback on my product. I’ve already made several for myself and let me tell you – the difference is amazing. I will be sure to let everyone know when I start taking regular orders. I may open a shop on Etsy, but I need some time to build up my inventory first. Woohoo!
5. Nursing Jack has been a challenge. I still feel strongly that I want to continue, but I can tell my supply is decreasing, and I tend to get this aggravated feeling each time he nurses. I’m trying to keep him nursing at least three times a day, which has worked…but I can’t pretend it hasn’t been difficult. I just know that he’s not ready to stop – and neither am I!
That’s all for now. I wish I had something more…thought-provoking…to say, but sometimes, things are fairly straight-forward! I will hopefully be posting further thoughts on the Lost Art of Parenting soon. Watch for it!