Today, I was struck by the change that has taken place in my life. I was especially amazed by how quickly these changes have completely flipped my life upside-down in so little time.
When we moved to Texas back in early December of 2006, we decided to drive our car and our belongings. While approaching the Arizona mountains, I turned on John Mayer’s “Stop This Train.” I felt like the song was written for me. The chorus rang out, touching my heart like never before:
Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can’t take the speed it’s moving in
I know I can’t
But honestly, won’t someone stop this train?
That was exactly how I felt. “Get me out of this car and take me home. I’m not ready to grow up, and I don’t want to keep moving forward. I can’t handle the complications of getting older!” I felt like my life was speeding up – I wasn’t prepared for all the change taking place, and my heart was conflicted.
Today, I listened to that song again. I listened to the words and remembered the way I felt driving through Arizona almost 2 years ago. This time, though, I felt different. My heart didn’t hurt. I smiled as it occurred to me that instead of feeling scared, I was thinking, “Don’t stop this train.”
I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned much about marriage, mothering, health, and homemaking. The Lord has been constantly pruning me and drawing me nearer still. How thankful I am that I can gladly continue on this journey! I look ahead, anticipating change and welcoming challenge. This is what makes me grow up before I grow old. These are the times to cherish. I definitely don’t want to stop this train.