Today is a good day, I think. I’ve been having some hard days lately, but it seems like things are going to change. It may have something to do with the fact that Ryan and I had a wonderful heart to heart conversation last night. That man is so good to me. He is so….man, is there even a word for what he is? I felt so cared for, so loved, so accepted, so understood. He listened to me with a caring, compassionate heart and he related to me. He helped me feel lighter…he helped me feel like I’m not crazy. He comforted me and reassured me of his love for me. Geez, I love him. I think that sometimes, issues seem so big because we don’t share them with someone. And when we finally feel ready to pour out our hearts, somehow the problem isn’t as much of a problem anymore. From my experience, it makes a huge difference. I’ve decided that I don’t want to hold anything in anymore. When something is wrong, when I’m feeling down, when I’m juggling what feels like way too many different emotions, I want to speak it out. And why shouldn’t I? I’ve got this amazingly wonderful husband to share myself with. Just knowing that fills me with so much comfort. Ahh.
This morning, Ryan let me sleep in a little bit while he watched Jack. Then I got up, let Jack play around on the floor with his toys, and soon after it was naptime. I put him down and spent some time on myself. I’ve decided to start reading through the New Testament. For a while, I’ve been spending time in the Psalms, but I’ve been feeling so hungry to know more about Jesus. I have read different books in the New Testament, but I am going to start from the very beginning, and this time, I want to take time to understand and meditate on the whole thing. So, I read Matthew, chapters 5 and 6, and then I journaled for a little while. It was a very peaceful time. And, I even listened to some music! Ryan would be proud of me. Last night, we decided that I need to DO more. I need to paint, I need to write, I need to sew and I sometimes I just need to turn on some music or a movie! It seems like all I really do is watch Jack, clean my house, water my plants, and make dinner. I mean, of course I do more than that but it occurred to us that I spend too much time thinking and not enough time doing. So, listening to music was a nice little step toward the “new me.” 🙂
My mom came over right when Jack woke up, and we ate some yummy Greek salad and then we ran some errands. I needed such random things – laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, underwear for Ryan, a shaving razor, paper towels, deodorant, and sparkling water. Random!! I ended up buying some stuff for dinner at Trader Joe’s, too. I’m really excited!
Our menu for tonight:
Chicken breasts stuffed with feta cheese, kalamata olives and seasonings
Quinoa, cooked and then sauteed with toasted sesame oil and crimini mushrooms
Garden herb salad with carrots and the extra crimini mushrooms 🙂
A freshly baked loaf of ciabatta bread
Mmm! Doesn’t it make you hungry? I can’t wait for Ryan to get home so that we can eat. Speaking of Ryan, I just saw him drive up! Wahoo!
Have a good night 🙂