Well, I’m still here. This week has been pretty busy. My brother, Sam, and his girlfriend, Amie, were in town for a week. It was so fun to hang out with them, but I am definitely grateful to be back at home with a little down time. I have been at my parents’ house with Jack every day since last Thursday, and I’ve basically only come home to sleep. Ryan was going straight there after work each day. I mean, I can’t complain because it felt like a half-vacation, but sometimes, you just want to be at home…sometimes, you just want to tend to daily chores and have a normal, predictable life! 🙂 But Sam, I’m glad you two came…
I’ve been thinking a lot about our family (as in me, Ryan, and Jack). I’ve been wondering when God will choose to bless us with another baby. I’ve been wondering how long we will be living in this great apartment…and when the Lord will open the door for us to buy our first home. I think we’ll be here in Southern California for a while..but I also know that we’ll end up somewhere else eventually. I’ve mentioned it before, but I feel like the Lord has spoken to me about a farm. I really believe we will live on a farm one day. My hope is that we will homestead the house, and then plant a garden and an orchard, raise chickens for meat and eggs, and possibly have a cow. I really feel this in my heart. But of course, I’m not sure how we’d do that in Orange County! Naturally, I am assuming God will lead us somewhere else, somewhere that owning a farm is far more realistic. I’m just a bit curious about the timeline. 🙂
Back to the subject of children…I’m in a funny place right now. We’ve chosen let God determine the size of our family. And I love that. At the same time, I’m hoping that he chooses to give us a very large family. And so…each month, I hope. I hope, I pray, and I wait. I want to know that my body is in working order. I’m struggling because I know I need patience. And it seems to me that giving God control covers both aspects – accepting if he gives us many, many children…but also accepting if he chooses to only give us a few.
I probably sound like I’m getting ahead of myself!! My first and only son is only 9 months old. I’m not necessarily in a rush right now (occasionally I feel like I am, but I know I can wait), but my heart longs to know that we will blessed with many little ones. Sometimes, I get a bit anxious. For those of you with the same conviction about family size….how do you handle those times when you feel anxious, or curious, or worried? I just want to enjoy this phase of life. I will only have one child once (Lord willing), so I need to revel in the joy of it all.
Now Jack is awake, so I better go give him some love. 🙂