What a week!

Well, I’m still here. This week has been pretty busy. My brother, Sam, and his girlfriend, Amie, were in town for a week. It was so fun to hang out with them, but I am definitely grateful to be back at home with a little down time. I have been at my parents’ house with Jack every day since last Thursday, and I’ve basically only come home to sleep. Ryan was going straight there after work each day. I mean, I can’t complain because it felt like a half-vacation, but sometimes, you just want to be at home…sometimes, you just want to tend to daily chores and have a normal, predictable life! πŸ™‚ But Sam, I’m glad you two came…

I’ve been thinking a lot about our family (as in me, Ryan, and Jack). I’ve been wondering when God will choose to bless us with another baby. I’ve been wondering how long we will be living in this great apartment…and when the Lord will open the door for us to buy our first home. I think we’ll be here in Southern California for a while..but I also know that we’ll end up somewhere else eventually. I’ve mentioned it before, but I feel like the Lord has spoken to me about a farm. I really believe we will live on a farm one day. My hope is that we will homestead the house, and then plant a garden and an orchard, raise chickens for meat and eggs, and possibly have a cow. I really feel this in my heart. But of course, I’m not sure how we’d do that in Orange County! Naturally, I am assuming God will lead us somewhere else, somewhere that owning a farm is far more realistic. I’m just a bit curious about the timeline. πŸ™‚
Back to the subject of children…I’m in a funny place right now. We’ve chosen let God determine the size of our family. And I love that. At the same time, I’m hopingΒ that he chooses to give us a very large family. And so…each month, I hope. I hope, I pray, and I wait. I want to know that my body is in working order. I’m struggling because I know I need patience. And it seems to me that giving God control covers both aspects – accepting if he gives us many, many children…but also accepting if he chooses to only give us a few.
I probably sound like I’m getting ahead of myself!! My first and only son is only 9 months old. I’m not necessarily in a rush right nowΒ (occasionally I feel like I am, but I know I can wait),Β but my heart longs to know that we will blessed with many little ones. Sometimes, I get a bit anxious. For those of you with the same conviction about family size….how do you handle those times when you feel anxious, or curious, or worried? I just want to enjoy this phase of life. I will only have one child once (Lord willing), so I need to revel in the joy of it all.
Now Jack is awake, so I better go give him some love. πŸ™‚
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2 Comments

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2 responses to “What a week!

  1. Katie

    When Isaac was 9 months old I felt like I was ready for another baby. I assumed that since I got pregnant unexpectedly with him that it just happened when you DID want it to πŸ™‚

    Silly me. I had a miscarriage when he was 11 months old, and it was really hard. I couldn’t understand why that happened to me. I didn’t end up getting pregnant after that until he was 13 months old. Of course when people heard I was pregnant with Gia they said “Oh what perfect spacing.” And it just twisted the knife of my lost pregnancy more.

    After that, as you well know, I have not had time to wait and wonder when the next one will be coming πŸ˜‰ But whether through the miscarriage, waiting, or thinking three times “pregnant so soon??” I just repeatedly claim the promises of God and His provision for me. Enjoy the moments you’re in now, they fly by far too quickly.

    I have in fact have been questioned by several people who think they’re witty as to if I’m pregnant again yet. Instead I just make them feel bad by saying “oh no.. my stomach is still out of shape from the baby.” To which they feel guilty because I KNOW they weren’t saying it based on how I look πŸ˜‰

  2. Kerri

    Ahhh, the waiting game! We have played it too. The funny thing is that our first three children were “planned” by my dh and I. We had agreed to have four children (I wanted at least ten), then my dh changed his convictions and decided to leave things in God’s hands. So he just expected my to get pregnant right away…..month, and another month, and another…..Yeah, you learn that you really are NOT in control :-)I am preggers with #6 right now, but I had to stop bf our 5th much earlier than our other kiddos and I just expected we would be expecting much, much sooner than we ended up. This time I started wondering, was this it? Will we have just 5? So I prayed and prayed about it and left it to God. And right afterwards I found out I was pregnant! It is not always an easy road. Being content with what we are given (I think that the Isrealites had that same problem :-))Hang in there! And just pray that the Lord will give you peace about it all.

    Kerri

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